Meeting The Right People Can Save Your Life - And Many Others'

In 1997, Carol Covin's friend had inoperable stomach cancer. Desperate for a cure, he stumbled across an obscure science library that held the papers from a physicist who had developed a protocol to treat cancer. The physicist died in 1986 without taking the protocol through clinical trials, but before he died, he endowed a private library to hold his papers. These papers,found by Carol's ill friend, gave him a protocol to follow. In six weeks, his 30-pound (yes, that's correct -30 pounds)tumor was gone.

Unfortunately, he died shortly afterwards, not from the cancer, (which was gone) but from the liver damage he had sustained during the five-year growth of his tumor.

Before he died, Carol's friend gave her a copy of the protocol, advising that as all the ingredients were natural, it could never be patented and would never attract the financing necessary to put it through clinical trials. She put it away for 7 years.

But she never forgot about it. Finally,Carol felt compelled to contact the library to find out if the papers were still there. They were.

Four years ago, she was was at a government inaugural parade party, hosted by one of the long-time sponsors of the MIT Forum where she volunteered. A fellow volunteer asked Carol what she was up to. Every other time they had seen each other, they talked about the event they were working on, not their day jobs. As "luck" would have it, this time it was the sponsor’s party, not one of their events, so they started discussing more personal things. Carol decided to share: She told her colleague she was working on bringing a cure for cancer to market and told her story.

Her colleague said, “I have someone you should meet.” She was the President of Women in Bio and knew all the right people in the local biotech community.

She set up an introduction to someone who was currently a pediatric oncologist and who had formerly worked at the FDA, a pharmaceutical company, and was now consulting to specialty pharmas (just the kinds of companies Carol needed if she took her protocal to market). This pediatric oncologist was practically an entire team wrapped up in one person. This oncologist has been guiding Carol through all the right steps to gain permission from the FDA to conduct a clinical trial.

Should she succeed in raising funds, her first clinical trial will start next year.

But,the story doesn't end here.

This writer was telling Carol's story a colleague, and he mentioned he had friends who have started a hedge fund for new cancer treatments. This may turn into a funding possibility for Carol's project.

Carol gained first-hand appreciation of how meeting JUST THE RIGHT PEOPLE can make a difference in the results that are generated.

In order to help fund her project, Carol has also been writing a book. The book, unrelated to her cancer project, is about mothers and grandmothers.

She was telling someone at church about her book. Turns out, this person has her own PR firm and a lot of contacts from her days as a press spokesman for a Congressman on the Hill. One of her contacts there, Michael Cottman, has just started his own radio show and called her to see if she had anyone he could interview. She referred Carol.

Carol has now been interviewed by this host about her cancer project on NPR radio. And it gets even better: This same radio host wants to interview Carol about her book because he's doing a special in September on Granparents Day!

Who knows how many lives Carol's project may save? But this possibility can only become a reality by meeting the right people to help a novice like Carol navigate these unchartered waters.

Keith Ferrazzi on Meeting Jack Welch - Would You Go To These Lengths To Meet The Right People?

Best Selling Author Begs For The Right People on Facebook

On Wednesday, July 22, Michael Port, best-selling author of Book Yourself Solid and The Think Big Manifesto, sent this message out to his friends on Facebook:

Wed at 10:20am
Please, I beg of you, stop sending me event invites via FB email.

Here are some of the responses:

• If I get one more invite for ______ whatever-the-heck-it-is-game, I'm going to scream.
• Better yet, they need to learn how to segment and target market ;)
• I get so many group invites too and they are so random.
• It's a major problem and is abused by event promoters and "coaches" and wannabes a lot.

Here is a situation where you can see how frustrated and annoyed people get when the "wrong" people (meaning people who are not offering the right opportunity) pitch at you. I am using this example not to single out Michael Port, but to demonstrate some points about what makes people want to connect with us, or distance from us.

Imagine if Jeffrey Immelt, CEO of General Electric had sent Michael an invitation on Facebook. Think he would have begged Jeffrey not to send him an invitation?

Now each of the people that sent these invitations to Michael are his "friends" on facebook. They are the "right" people as friends on his list. They are not always the "right" people to send him a continuous stream of irrelevant invitations.

Allow me to digress for a moment - there is a point here.

Just saw a segment of a late night talk show where Sean John Combs talked about a party he gave recently. Suddenly, his security people came over to him and whispered in his ear: "Mr. Michael Jackson is here and would like to come to your party." Now Sean had not invited Michael Jackson. Somehow Michael had known the where and when of the party. Do you think Sean said, "No thank you" to Michael Jackson? Hardly. Sean was thrilled (excuse the pun) to have the King of Pop come to his party - invited or uninvited. (An aside here - Michael wanted Sean to introduce him to Beyonce at the party because he wanted to dance with her !)

We all want the right people and the right invitations.

Back to Michael Port, invitations to events,and friending on Facebook or other sites.

We have to become the right people and make the right invitations for people to want to connect with us.

Blanketing people with un-targeted invitations is a turn-off and will diminish your power. For your invitations to be engaging you have to give people a "what's in it for them" message. This message needs to appeal to what's relevant and important to them.

The next time you attempt to connect or invite someone to an event, a meeting, a conference, or even a party, think carefully about these three things:

1. Is my message distinctive and engaging?

2.. Have I requested this person's permission to reach out to him/her if I don't directly know him/her?

3. Do I have a strong "what's in it for...." message for this person? Is my invitation relevant to each person? Can I offer this person something they might really be interested in?

The more relevance and value you offer people with whom you interact, the more you become The Right People to them.

Leveraging A Pet Project Into A Major Network Upgrade

A client of mine, a consultant, had a very strong desire to write a book. His expertise in an area of business management is renowned. He wanted to write about best practices so that clients and potential clients would make better decisions about how they were leading and doing business.

This same client also wanted to reach more decision makers and leaders in certain business sectors. He didn't have access to many of them at this time.

His options for objective number 2 was to have someone in his sales group start cold-calling to develop leads with the decision makers or begin networking steps to get next to these decision makers.

My recommendation: Why not kill two birds with one stone?

Why not leverage the book project into a relationship builder with these decision makers?

This client made a list of the decision makers who would be great interviewees for the book.

He reached out to about 20 of them and told them about his book project. Almost every leader agreed to be interviewed for the book!

When all was said and done, this client actually met with about 10 of these decision makers for an interview, and these interviews led to 2 prospecting conversations and ultimately one client.

And 20 direct connections with decision makers were made, with these 20 still in Mr. Client's data base. Mr. Client sets up his Outlook alerts to remind him to ping each and every one of them every 6 months. This pinging process has also resulted in one very substantial new client.

The book project ultimately morphed into a white paper of best practice interviews which Mr. Client promotes on the company website and provides as a handout after presentations.

This is a great example of LEVERAGING both a creative marketing project and a lead generation project. It demonstrates how we can use our time innovatively, and build genuinely productive relationships WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

What projects can you leverage in order to upgrade your network?
If you are telling yourself that you are not a writer and have no intention of writing a book, then perhaps you've missed my point.

Whatever your interests or desires, they are an opportunity to leverage your objective of improving the caliber of people in your network.

Here are some possibilities to consider:

• How about leveraging a passion for a cause to get on a non-profit board and get to work with decision makers?

• How about leveraging a desire to play in a band to get a group of other business leader /"rock star wannabees" together to jam (I didn't think of this one - I know a group of business guys who met through an online group and now play gigs together as well as refer business back and forth).

• How about leveraging a desire to be in a think-tank environment with forming a personal "board of directors" comprised of people you'd love to be networking with as your advisors. By hosting monthly "board of director" meetings you can expand business opportunity for everyone if you keep these meetings focused and succinct. (A colleague did this very successfully - it's led to new business for 60% of the people in the group and a highly upgraded connection base for him)

Leveraging your "wishful projects" can be a deeply fulfilling way to attract ideal new relationships into your business and life. Leverage away!

Do You Have The "GET IT" Factor?

When I was in college, I had a roommate. We'll call her Diane. Diane was a social butterfly - like honey with all these bees buzzing around her. She had many friends - most of them were rather quirky or on the strange side. But through all of that social activity, she had a powerful yearning to break into the communications and media world. As she neared graduation, she began connecting and getting friendly with many of the communications and media student leaders and professors. Observing all of this as a college student, I thought her methods rather strange and slightly distasteful. Who hung around with professors anyway?

There were a few instances after college I received messages on my answering maching (remember those?) from Diane. I don't think I ever called her back.

Years later, after a long hiatus of not seeing or being in communication with Diane, I was watching the Oscar awards. A lovely woman was walking to the podium to accept an award for best film in a particular category. She looked very familiar. Yes, although it took me a moment, there was a radiant Diane accepting her golden statue.

I did reach out to her (thank goodness for the internet) to congratulate her. We caught up on old times and Diane acted like we were still roommies. Very down to earth, very warm, very interested in me.

Diane is now a very successful producer in Hollywood. Her circle is very much a who's who in the entertainmet biz. Yet, she still has friends from high school, college, and mixes them in with her show biz friends.

Diane has the GET IT factor. Unlike me, she GOT IT very early on that you needed to get to know the right people so that you could access the right opportunities. She also knew that she had to be generous with people. While most of us were figuring out how to cut classes and still get enough credits to graduate, Diane was figuring out the right people to meet to open the doors to her first job in Hollywood.

When Diane lost her funding for her documentary, she had powerful friends at a major studio who wanted to help her. They picked up the tab and she was able to finish the film. The rest is history.

But Diane isn't simply about herself. She knows the GET IT Factor is mostly about helping others. She is as generous with her connections as she is savvy about knowing the right people.

Yet, we all know people who play the networking game and so DON"T GET IT.

I recently introduced two business colleagues who have a lot of synergy in their connections and business dealings. At lunch, one of these colleagues proceeded to talk non-stop about himself, his ideas, his company. I was mortified. He DIDN'T GET how he was monopolizing the conversation and was oblivious to how he was throwing away a wonderful business opportunity.

Ask yourself honestly: Do you really have the "GET IT" Factor?

• Are you meeting the right people?


• Are you being generous with the right people and trying to help them first?


• Are you listening to the right people or are you chewing their ear off making it all about you?

If you realize that you might not have the GET IT factor, it is never too late to start (I know this from personal experience).

To get the GET IT Factor, you have to give it away first - to the right people.

Spicing Up Her World After Meeting The Right People

Nirmala Narine's world for the first several years of her life was a tiny kitchen in Guyana with no running water or electricity. Her culinary skills were developed early and today, she is founder and "spice master" of Nirmala's Kitchen, a gourmet importer and distributor of exotic ingredients.

If you visit Nirmala's website, http://www.nirmalaskitchen.com/, you almost expect to smell the wonderful aromas of the many spices and recipes she concocts out of the ingredients harvested from the earth. But don't be fooled by the domestic bent to her creations. Nirmala is one very sharp business person.

Visit her press page and you will see she travels in some of the most well-respected culinary circles. The New York Times Food Editor, to whom Nirmala sent many samples of her dishes, finally met with her. Shortly thereafter, she introduced her good friend Eric Ripert, Executive Chef/ Co-owner Le Bernardin, to Nirmala. He sampled her innovative spice blends. Now, Nirmala's influence is tasted by some of the most discerning clients at Le Bernadin. The Martha has sung her praises as well.

Nirmala understood how important it was to pique the taste interests of the influential and famous in the food world. She sent samples to the right people, researched and reached out to book publishers who had successfully produced best-selling cookbooks and endeared herself to them through her powerful products and positive spirit.

Nirmala's network now includes many of the most well-known and influential in the culinary field, and attracted leaders of major organizations who want to tap her innovative ideas on flavor and cuisine.

When you talk to Nirmala, you learn not only about her love for flavors and spices, but her passion for people. Especially the right people.

Are You Content To Meet Mediocrity?

A few years ago, I was living in another county. It felt like another world and someone else's life.

I had moved from a job in NYC to a community where I connected with a very nice, very amiable, very content group of people.

For a number of years, my circle of friends was comprised of some lovely people with "safe" jobs, focused on remaining comfortable and not taking on more than they could chew professionally. During that time, I consciously didn't talk about my "big dreams" or aspirations, my hopes, my visions for a bigger future.

I was afraid that my circle of friends, often under-achievers, would think me arrogant, or ask themselves, "Who does she think is?"

Over time, I began to realize I was associating with a group of very nice but highly resigned people, people who were content to stand still, not rock any boats, and not take on very much that was risky.


There was an aha moment when I realized I was dying inside. I was yearning to associate with people who wanted to create and live bigger lives, strive and accomplish more, make a bigger difference, and I didn't have the people in my life to endorse this hidden craving.

As difficult as it was, I gave myself permission to seek out other people for friends.

Today, my circle of friends is truly fulfilling: spiritually, intellectually, creatively, and are a 9 on the influence scale. It really took something to realize that my former circle of friends were mediocre. There is nothing wrong with mediocre - it's just that I could not leave this life knowing I had just gotten by. I didn't want my life to be that.

Many of us find it easier to affiliate with people at our own level. We say we feel comfortable there. Of course we do. What effort does it take to speak to people who do not cause us to stretch and strive?

Perhaps you feel this is snobbery. I am not suggesting that average people who don't strive for more professionally are less or do not make a huge difference in the lives of their loved ones.

The point is:
if you've been given the skills, talent, and opportunity to create and contribute, is it ok to just get by with what's comfortable? Is it ok to be a magnet for mediocrity?

In these past few years, I feel as though I have grown beyond my wildest imagination. I have taken on new challenges that I never would have believed possible: I have hosted top-notch leaders, I have taken professional risks and succeeded (and failed), I have connected some of the most wonderful and talented people, and I have made a difference.

What about you?

Are you content to be a magnet for mediocrity or are you willing to stretch your muscles and raise the bar on your relationships?

Who are the people in your life today? Do they want to see you stretch and play full out or are they more comfortable when you play small?

It does take courage to meet and interact with people who are brighter, more experienced, more accomplished, and maybe even in more elevated or influential circles. But if you want to get that product to market, publish that book, or have your cure for a formidable disease accepted for clinical trial, you must have access to people who are definitely NOT MEDIOCRE.

Mediocre, by the way, has nothing to do with money or status. It has everything to do with drive, intention, and creativity.

Humans often seem to be content with comfort - not going out on a limb for the possibility of success. From time to time, we see the "lucky" winners - Bill Gates, Oprah. Barack Obama showed us that luck had nothing to do with it. He leveraged every possible relationship in new ways, in the most unlikely, difficult, uncomfortable, painful, stressful, ways. All to satisfy a dream of making a difference.

When will you give up being mediocre and hanging around with "safe" people?

If you are reading this post, you are living in a place and time of immense possibility, filled with creative, innovative people, with tools and resources unimagined only a decade ago.

I invite you to take one even one of the following suggestions:

Go to new events and meet with people who are vibrating at a higher level and who know more than you in some areas.

Take on the challenge of hanging out with smarter, more successful, more accomplished people than you.

Go places where your comfort level is low, and opportunity is high.

Do not stay content, and meet your more excellent self.

I invite you to be a little less comfortable, and experience the ultimate experience and enjoyment of your own evolution.